A touch of insanity

Isles 'ere.
Schizotypical, omni, vain as all fuckery

Sep 10

well, this is complicated

my friend was having a bit of gender dysphoria and I started thinking about my own identity. I mean, I’ve always identified as a cis-male, I’ve always been a cis-male, and I’ve never thought of myself as anything else.

Simple, yeah.

My sexuality isn’t. Because for ages I thought I was straight, then I decided I was bi, then finally moved away from women all together. But I do like women. I just don’t like them sexually or romantically. I love the look of them though. I love the way the female body looks (Okay, except certain parts but we all know how squeamish I am). So there’s that.

On the other hand, I honestly do not find anything non-attractive in males. I am actually blind to how men look. It’s not that they “look the same” it’s because I actually find every single male attractive. I find masculinity attractive. I have never met a man that I wasn’t attracted to. I have no idea whether this is just hypersexuality or maybe there’s a term for it, but I don’t know.

So I’m starting to think that maybe I’m not fully gay. I’m starting to think I’m just attracted to masculinty and asthetically attracted to women. I don’t know. I shouldn’t think about this stuff, it gets my thoughts in a tangle.

Short summary; is there a word for being attracted to only masculinity or to being “blind” to how a gender looks?


  1. nourishnourish said: Androphilia/androsexuality is the attraction to men or masculinity. I remember looking it up because while I develop “crushes” on women, I’m not really attracted to them sexually. But masculinity in anyone: yes ma’am. Explains my thing for older men!
  2. sirisles posted this